Key Takeaways
- Shane Jones delivered a lively, joke‑filled speech at the New Zealand First party convention, mixing political critique with personal humor.
- He took a veiled swipe at Prime Minister Christopher Luxon’s recent meeting with Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi, framing the India‑New Zealand free‑trade agreement as a threat to social cohesion.
- Jones defended his party’s opposition to the deal, insisting concerns about immigration and infrastructure are not racist and reiterated the policy to bar non‑citizens from voting.
- He used colourful language to criticise perceived exploitation of migrant workers in the kiwifruit industry, urging their removal.
- The speech opened with jokes about celebrity candidates, nudism, and the Act Party’s Paul Henry, then turned to teasing fellow NZ First hopefuls Michael Laws and Stuart Nash.
- Jones disclosed his own use of the weight‑loss drug Wegovy, describing unpleasant side‑effects and a daughter’s witty retort about his “septic‑quality” remarks.
- He closed by mocking National Party campaign chairman Simeon Brown, comparing Brown’s polling to his age.
- The article is sourced from NZ Herald political reporter Adam Pearse, who provided context on Jones’ tone and the convention setting.
- Overall, Jones’ rhetoric underscores NZ First’s populist stance on immigration, trade, and national identity while employing humor to endear himself to party faithful.
Overview of Shane Jones’ speech at NZ First convention
Shane Jones, deputy leader of New Zealand First, addressed the party’s annual convention with a blend of satire and pointed criticism. His tone was jovial from the outset, inviting laughter while laying out serious policy positions. The speech touched on foreign policy, domestic immigration concerns, internal party dynamics, and his personal health journey, all delivered in Jones’ characteristic blunt style. Attendees responded with a mixture of applause and chuckles, indicating that his humor resonated with the base while his substantive points reinforced the party’s platform.
Political context: Luxon’s meeting with Modi and India free‑trade agreement
Jones began by referencing Prime Minister Christopher Luxon’s recent historic meeting with Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi, the first visit by an Indian premier to New Zealand in forty years. Luxon had heralded the encounter as a milestone, noting the newly signed free‑trade agreement (FTA) between the two nations. Jones used this backdrop to launch a “crass, veiled dig” at Luxon, suggesting that the Prime Minister’s affectionate diplomacy with foreign leaders amounted to kneeling before ethno‑nationalist interests.
Jones’ criticism of the India FTA and stance on non‑citizen voting
The deputy leader defended NZ First’s opposition to the India FTA, arguing that it was “not racist” to worry about social cohesion and the country’s infrastructure deficit. He pledged to “call out a rising Indian population every day, every week, every month,” framing his critique as a protective measure for the hinterland. Jones also reiterated his party’s policy that only citizens should be allowed to vote in New Zealand elections, stating that non‑citizens, regardless of how many trade deals are signed, will never have a electoral voice.
Jones’ remarks about immigrant labor in the kiwifruit industry
In a particularly stark passage, Jones accused foreign workers of forming “slave gangs” in the kiwifruit sector, claiming they evaded tax and owed more to the Inland Revenue Department than the GDP of the small town of Kaitāia. He urged that such individuals be placed “on the first plane and sent home,” insisting that this stance was not racist but rather a defence of New Zealand’s rural communities. The comment underscored NZ First’s broader narrative linking immigration to economic strain and cultural dilution.
Humorous opening: celebrity candidates and nudism jokes
After the pointed policy remarks, Jones shifted to a lighter tone, observing that the election was increasingly dominated by celebrity candidates—a comment attributed to NZ Herald political correspondent Audrey Young. He mocked the Act Party’s recent selection of broadcaster Paul Henry, joking that Henry’s alleged fondness for nudism could lead to a “small naked colony on the backbench,” thereby giving a new meaning to the parliamentary phrase “Point of Order.” This opening set the stage for a speech that combined satire with substantive critique.
Jokes about Act Party’s Paul Henry and celebrity candidates
Jones continued his jest at the Act Party, dubbing Paul Henry the “secret weapon” of the party and suggesting that his presence would inject an unconventional, almost farcical element into Parliament. By contrasting the seriousness of policy debates with the image of a nude broadcaster, Jones highlighted what he perceives as a trivialisation of politics by rival parties that prioritize fame over substance. The humor served both to entertain the audience and to underline his criticism of opponents’ campaign strategies.
Teasing of fellow NZ First candidates Michael Laws and Stuart Nash
Turning to his own party’s roster, Jones described former broadcaster and new candidate Michael Laws as “our celebrity wizard Gandalf,” invoking the beloved fantasy figure to convey both admiration and a hint of whimsy. He then targeted Stuart Nash, a former Labour minister turned NZ First candidate, labeling him the “former Parliamentary gym bunny.” Jones added a playful warning: should Nash encounter the “exhibitionist” Paul Henry at the gym, he should keep his distance. These jests illustrated Jones’ comfort in teasing colleagues while reinforcing party camaraderie.
Self‑deprecating comments about his own weight and Wegovy use
Jones then became the subject of his own humour, revealing that he had been advised to go on a diet. He quipped, “As you can see, the diet hasn’t really worked,” acknowledging his visible weight. He disclosed that he had been persuaded to try the weight‑loss medication Wegovy, noting that officials had told him it could help shed a double chin and make him more “sporting‑like.” This admission added a layer of vulnerability to his otherwise combative demeanor.
The septic‑tank breath anecdote and daughter’s reply
The deputy leader continued with a vivid, self‑mocking story about Wegovy’s side‑effects. He said that, among a small minority of male users, the drug produces a breath odour “not far from a septic tank.” Jones recounted his daughter’s retort: “That shouldn’t be a problem, Papa, because according to the Opposition members in Parliament, most of your content flowing out of your mouth has a septic quality to it anyway.” The exchange drew laughter and illustrated the family’s easy‑going rapport, even as it underscored the public perception of his rhetoric as blunt and sometimes off‑putting.
Final jab at National Party campaign chairman Simeon Brown
Jones concluded his address by taking aim at Simeon Brown, the National Party’s campaign chairman, who had recently criticised NZ First and Act members for behaving like children. Jones retorted, “When the campaign manager of the National Party described the 66‑year‑old Dalmatian Māori from Kaitāia as a child… All I wanted to say is, ‘Son, you’ve been running the National re‑election campaign for 10 weeks, approximately. Your polling is 28%, similar to your age.’” Noting that Brown is 35 years old, Jones implied that the younger campaign leader’s performance was immature, turning Brown’s own critique back on him with a sharp, age‑based jab.
Background on reporter Adam Pearse and source
The details of Jones’ speech were provided by Adam Pearse, Deputy Political Editor of the NZ Herald and a member of the Press Gallery team based at Parliament in Wellington. Pearse has been with NZME since 2018, having previously reported for the Northern Advocate in Whangārei and the Herald in Auckland. His coverage offers a reliable window into the convention’s atmosphere, capturing both the substantive policy discourse and the lighter, humorous interludes that characterised Jones’ delivery.
Conclusion: significance of Jones’ rhetoric for NZ politics
Shane Jones’ convention address exemplifies the populist tone that has become a hallmark of New Zealand First’s public persona. By coupling sharp criticism of the government’s trade and immigration policies with self‑deprecating humor and playful ribbing of colleagues, Jones seeks to energise his base while distancing the party from more technocratic rivals. The speech’s focus on protecting the “hinterland,” restricting non‑citizen voting, and calling out perceived elite frivolity reflects a broader strategy of appealing to voters who feel left behind by globalization and urban‑centric politics. Ultimately, Jones’ blend of blunt talk and comedy serves both to entertain party faithful and to reinforce NZ First’s identity as a defender of traditional Kiwi values against what it portrays as the excesses of mainstream politics.