Key Takeaways
- The author, Naomi Arnold, experienced intense loneliness while walking the Te Araroa trail in New Zealand, despite being an introvert who enjoyed solitude.
- Loneliness can be an emotional state that feels physical, making it difficult to connect with others and leading to feelings of isolation.
- Research shows that loneliness affects people of all ages, with only two out of 15 lonely New Zealand adults being aged 65 or over.
- The author found that connecting with others and embracing solitude were both important in overcoming loneliness.
- The experience of loneliness can be complex and multifaceted, involving feelings of sorrow, grief, shame, and disconnection.
Introduction to Loneliness on the Te Araroa Trail
The author, Naomi Arnold, spent eight and a half months walking the Te Araroa trail in New Zealand, a journey that was both physically grueling and emotionally challenging. Despite being an introvert who enjoyed solitude, Arnold experienced intense loneliness on the trail, which she describes as a "relentless and profound" feeling. This loneliness was not just a result of being alone, but also a sense of disconnection from others and a lack of meaningful relationships.
The Physical and Emotional Toll of Loneliness
Arnold’s experience of loneliness was not just emotional, but also physical. She describes feeling it in her heart and gut, and experiencing physical sensations such as tears and a tight chest. The loneliness also made it difficult for her to connect with others, even when she did meet people on the trail. She felt awkward and unwanted, and this made her isolate herself further. When she returned home, she found that crowds made her panic and eye contact was disturbing and embarrassing.
Understanding Loneliness
Arnold’s experience of loneliness was unexpected, as she had never felt lonely before. She had always enjoyed being alone and had a strong sense of self. However, the prolonged period of solitude on the trail brought out feelings of loneliness that she had not experienced before. Research shows that loneliness is a common experience, affecting people of all ages. In New Zealand, only two out of 15 lonely adults are aged 65 or over, and the majority of lonely people are younger adults, disabled, unemployed, or solo parents.
The Complexity of Loneliness
The author notes that loneliness is a complex and multifaceted experience, involving feelings of sorrow, grief, shame, and disconnection. It is not just a result of being alone, but also a sense of being misunderstood and not having meaningful relationships. The experience of loneliness can be triggered by a range of factors, including migration, urbanization, individualism, and the rise of digital technology. The author suggests that loneliness is not just a personal problem, but also a societal issue that requires a collective response.
Overcoming Loneliness
Arnold’s experience of loneliness was eventually overcome by connecting with others and embracing solitude. She notes that connecting with relationships old and new was important, but also that connection with oneself through embracing solitude was just as important. The author suggests that solitude can be a gift, allowing us to appreciate the beauty of the world around us and to connect with our own emotions and thoughts. The experience of loneliness, while difficult, can also be transformative, allowing us to grow and develop as individuals.
Conclusion
The author’s experience of loneliness on the Te Araroa trail is a powerful reminder of the importance of human connection and relationships. While loneliness can be a difficult and complex experience, it is also an opportunity for growth and transformation. By embracing solitude and connecting with others, we can overcome loneliness and develop a deeper understanding of ourselves and the world around us. The author’s story is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the importance of empathy and compassion in overcoming the challenges of loneliness.


