Key Takeaways
- Jess Hilarious wrote ‘Til Death Do We Parent to fill a gap in parenting literature and to model honest, accountable co‑parenting for both mothers and fathers.
- Including her ex‑partner Rome’s perspective was essential; she believes accountability works both ways and that a balanced narrative helps all parents see their own role in relationship dynamics.
- The book’s title reflects a lifelong commitment to parenting that extends far beyond the legal age of adulthood, challenging the cultural notion that parenting ends at 18 or 21.
- Humor is a coping mechanism Jess relies on; she uses comedy to diffuse tension, process discomfort, and maintain resilience during challenging co‑parenting moments.
- Setting clear boundaries after marrying her husband Chris was a turning point—she learned to limit late‑night calls from Rome and protect her new marital space.
- Jess warns against “sneaking and freaking” (secretly rekindling physical relationships with an ex) because it confuses children and blurs parental boundaries.
- Dating as a parent requires careful vetting: potential partners must be evaluated for how they treat family, handle anger, relate to children, and address their own past trauma.
- Personal growth comes from recognizing one’s own mistakes—Jess admits she once dated selfishly, neglected her son’s needs, and learned to prioritize her child’s wellbeing before pursuing new relationships.
Jess Hilarious, the 34‑year‑old Breakfast Club co‑host and mother of two, recently released her debut memoir ‘Til Death Do We Parent. The book stems from her observation that existing parenting guides often lack candid, real‑world accounts—especially those that reflect the experiences of Black, millennial parents navigating co‑parenting after a breakup. Wanting to provide a resource that speaks to both moms and dads, Jess decided to chronicle her own journey alongside that of her high‑school sweetheart and ex‑partner, Gerome (Rome). She felt it would be selfish to tell only her side of the story; Ashton, their 14‑year‑old son, has both parents, and a balanced narrative helps readers see where each person contributed to both the strengths and the pitfalls of their co‑parenting arrangement.
The memoir’s title is a deliberate statement against the cultural script that parenting ends when a child turns 18 or 21. Jess argues that parenting is a lifelong commitment: she still calls her own mother for advice, leans on her father, and believes her son Ashton can remain at home as long as he is productive, employed, and pursuing his goals. By framing parenting as an enduring role, she hopes to dismantle the stigma that encourages parents to “push their kids out the door” as soon as they reach legal adulthood.
Humor plays a central role in Jess’s coping toolkit. She notes that comedy helps her process adversity, diffuse tension, and maintain a light‑hearted outlook even when co‑parenting feels stressful. Whether she’s dealing with scheduling conflicts, miscommunication, or the inevitable disappointments that arise, Jess turns to wit as a way to stay grounded and to keep the atmosphere less charged for her children. This approach not only benefits her mental health but also models a healthy way for Ashton and her younger daughter, Marley Sky, to handle conflict.
One of the more candid sections of the book addresses the pitfall Jess calls “sneaking and freaking”—the temptation to rekindle a physical relationship with an ex‑partner while attempting to co‑parent. She warns that such behavior blurs boundaries, creates confusion for children who may witness ambiguous interactions, and undermines the stability both parents strive to build. By naming the behavior openly, Jess hopes to encourage co‑parents to set clear limits and avoid sending mixed signals to their kids.
Marriage brought a new set of boundaries into focus. Jess’s husband Chris pointed out that she was allowing Rome too much access—taking late‑night calls while they were in bed together, for instance. That feedback helped Jess recognize the need to protect her marital space and to establish firmer limits with her ex. She learned that maintaining a healthy co‑parenting relationship does not require sacrificing the integrity of her new partnership; rather, it involves clear communication, mutually agreed‑upon schedules, and respect for each partner’s private life.
When it comes to dating after a breakup, Jess stresses the importance of thorough vetting. She advises single parents to ask probing questions about how potential partners treat their own families, manage anger, relate to children, and confront past trauma. Jess shares her own misstep of dating selfishly, which once led to a boyfriend leaving her son Ashton unattended for several hours—a mistake she now uses as a cautionary tale. The lesson is clear: a partner’s suitability must be measured not only by how they make the parent feel but also by how they would impact the child’s wellbeing.
Throughout the interview, Jess returns to a core message: personal accountability and continuous self‑reflection are the foundations of successful co‑parenting. She acknowledges that nobody is ever fully healed—life continually presents new challenges—but stresses that a mindful approach to dating, boundary‑setting, and humor can make the journey smoother for everyone involved. Her memoir, therefore, serves not just as a personal story but as a practical guide for parents seeking to build healthier, more resilient families.